It's the Last Day before the First Day

a back to school post

Today’s the last day before the first day.

We’ve known it was coming. 

The fresh summer murmurs – “it’s going to go so fast” – have proven true. In some ways I’m ready to rip off the Band-Aid. My husband’s the district’s director of technology and his August is (always) crazy. Tomorrow he gets to pass out hundreds of student laptops and free up space in his office (and his brain). In other ways, I’d like to delay just a bit longer…to linger with unrushed mornings, a chorus of welcomes when I come home for lunch, splashes at the pool, staying up late.

My FB memories for this date showed me photos of my oldest’s first day of first grade and her locker set-up before her first day of middle school. Now she’s a high school junior and college breathes down our necks just a little bit more each day. She’s growing up as she’s supposed to and I’m thankful, but it also feels scary. I’m not ready to dip my toes into that unknown quite yet. I want her to be able to enjoy her childhood just a bit more, not worrying about the days to come, but living in the moment. Living in her junior year – stuco, cheer, band, choir, musical, art – not constantly looking beyond it to the great unknown. I hope we can somehow strike a balance.

My middle daughter is a freshman. I can hardly believe it. She’s a brave one, that girl, and I’m proud of her always. She’s stepping foot into new things – the freshman hall, the cheer squad, musicals – and leveling up in things like art, band, choir. She’s imagining where she might go when she’s grown and it catches my heart just a bit, not because I want her to stay little, but because it’s hard to imagine another piece of my heart spreading her wings in just a few short years that will seem like days and weeks.

And my youngest. He’s a 7th grader. He’s glad he has a year of middle school under his belt and thankful he’s not the youngest (quite literally – his birthday is the enrollment cut-off day) in the school. He’s put in miles over the summer to try cross country this fall. He’ll continue in band and choir and hopefully we can figure out a time for piano. The kid seems to be a natural musician and he doesn’t seem to care if others think that’s cool or not. I love that he has that little independent streak as I imagine it will serve him well in the days to come.

As for me, this is how I seem to spend the last day before the first day: reminiscing. pondering. wondering. I'm proud of my kids. Excited for them. Confident they’ll learn and grow. But I'm also a bit nostalgic. Maybe a little sad. My heart is heavy with a mix of emotions, not the least of which is a whole lot of love for them and thankfulness that I get to be their mom.

To all of you embarking on a new school year, have a happy one ❤

-MDJ